The phrase goes like this: "There's a time and a place for everything...and it's called college."

I spent most of my college time (and before) trying to explore the width and depth of my soul in whatever depraved and substance fueled way possible, as you do. But never did I encounter anything like what I am showing you today.

When I say the name "Tim Burton", you think of the director of films like Edward Scissor Hands, Batman, Nightmare Before Christmas, Beetlejuice and many more. All weird and wonderful.

But you wonder, perhaps, where the hell did this all spring from? Well back in 1982, none other than the fine folks at Disney Channel gave a young Tim Burton $116,000 to produce a live action movie based on the fairytale "Hansel  and Gretel".

Seems that most of that budget got spent on Peyote buttons and high grade Hashish.

What I present to you now is the finished project, so bizarre that Disney only aired it once. That's right. One time, and they buried all association with it like a parent who finds the kids' pet hamster dead and sprints off to the pet store to replace it with another that looks the same before anyone notices.

If you find yourself recoiling in horror at the thought that this was meant to be seen exclusively BY CHILDREN, don't worry, you are not alone...

Signpost up ahead. It reads..."Hansel And Gretel" (With A Completely Japanese Cast, Filmed In Mushroom-Vision!)  Don't say I did not warn you.

I feel like I need a shower...